Different

Nobody's religion is exactly the same, even if you go to the same church, or are of the same denomination. Everyone worships differently. But that's because no two people are tantamount. Each brain is on a different wave length. But that's how God created us. He made us each unique and exclusive, one of a kind. So of course we wont all think the same way, or get the same view of every message, or even sing a song in the same way. We cant crucify people for what they believe or how they worship. It's who they believe and worship too that matters. Whether it be God, The Messiah, Yahweh, The great I AM, Jesus Christ, Lord, Father, King of kings, Selah, whatever you call Him, whichever the name, as long as its HIM!

Orbit

God is a God of awesome wonder. But that's just it! It's wonder. Until we stand in front of Him, face to face, we will never really know His exact plans for us. They're a mystery. We won't fully comprehend Him or understand Him until that time. But that's because if we knew His whole master plan, we as humans would not be able to comprehend it all. It is so out of this universe. And were just an infinitesimal star in its orbit.

Realization

I'm beginning to realize how Jesus felt. To love someone so exceedingly that, no matter what they do, you can't help but forgive them. How love can override most things. That I could care about someone so greatly, that even when they break my heart. They easily put it back together by saying I'm sorry. That I could overlook flaws and see them as assets. That I could forgive so effortlessly. God loved. So He sent His only son, a part of Him, to die for us. You and me. Insignificant, despicable, humans. All because he loved so passionately, he forgave.

A way out

From almost the very beginning we have sinned. In the garden, when Eve took that single bite of fruit from the forbidden tree. Sin became part of the world. When God confronted Adam and Eve on the sin that they committed, neither took blame. Eve blamed the serpent, Adam blamed Eve. And therefore sin appeared. We as people blame everything on other people. We don't stop to think that maybe it is our fault. Jesus didn't blame us for OUR sin. He took full responsibility and punishment as He hung there by His hands and feet. A crown of thorns upon His head. Held up by only 3 nails on the cross. Blood pouring from his shredded body. Gashed and cut, bruised and broken. He took our sin and rewarded us for it. He loved us, and did not want to see us suffer. He gave us a way out.

He never leaves

I'm still learning about what I like, what I don't like. What I believe in, and what I don't. Who I think God wants me to be. And what he doesn't want me to be. What I'm suppose to do, and whats meant for other people. But through it all I have God! Forever, and ever. When everything goes wrong, I'll praise Him. When everything seems right, I'll praise Him. He'll never leave me, even when it seems like He has. I'll never doubt Him. For he never puts doubt in my mind.

In the beginning...

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." That's how it starts. Not some big explosion! Not over millions of years! Not by evolution! But from God. The maker of the universe, the maker of time. People often overlook the importance in this verse. That GOD started our beginning. Not some random science hypothesis, but actual truth and life.

Maybe I have fallen head over heels. Maybe it is too good to be true. And maybe I am scared, completely to death to care so much. But for right now I'll love you. Because that's the only thing I know how to do.  The only thing I want to do, to be with you.

The word dad. I don't like to say it, I don't like to hear it, I don't like to read it, I don't like to think it, and I don't even like typing it.

Times

I don't remember the old me. The girl who would talk to people. The girl who knew what she wanted. The girl who was happy. In fact, I don't think she ever existed at all. I don't know where my life is heading. I'm stuck. I know what I want, but I have no idea how to get there. Whenever I actually do try and tell people what I want, they shut it down. Like it's impossible. I dream too much. I'll probably be stuck in this town forever, which is one of my many worries. All I ever do is worry anymore. I just want to leave, to get away. To be free, to be me.

Decisions

I never realized that that stupid decision would ever hurt me so badly. I didn't realize the discomfort it would bring. I feel like I've lost my best friend. The person who I could talk to about almost anything. I could talk to him easily as well. And yet I can't talk to him about this. I have a constant ache it feels like where my heart is. I don't like this feeling. But yet I'm the one who put myself in this situation. There's nothing I can do to change that, except regret it. But that's just something I'll have to live with, regret. And wonder what could have happened if I actually would have thought things through.

Consider me gone

"If i'm not the one thing you can't stand to lose
If i'm not that arrow to the heart of you
If you don't get drunk on my kiss
If you think you can do better than this then i guess we're done
Let's not drag this on
Consider me gone"

-This is the difference between God and man. Even though He should be the one thing we can't stnad to lose. The arrow to the heart of us. The one thing we cant do better than. Or ever find another greater than. And the sad part is most people don't think of Him like this. They are to involved with their work, family, money, and life that they forget why they are here in the first place. And who put them here and gave them everything they have. Everything they put infront of Him. But yet He is still there for us, through everything. Even when we turn our backs on Him, ignore Him, slander Him or even crucify Him. He is there waiting for us to realize just how much we need Him! "'He will never leave nor forsake you." Or abandon you when things get rough. While other people will just get up and walk off leaving you with nothing. Or so they think. The whole time you have something, the only thing you will ever need, HIM! And when you realize that, it will change your life.

Hope

hope - to place trust; rely.

Have you ever really though about the word hope? I haven't until today. Hope is such a strong word but we use it for the littlest things. Oh I hope it doesn't rain today, I hope we win our game, I hope that jacket is on sale. We misuse it more than we even imagine. Are we really putting our 'hope' into other people? Have you ever stopped and considered to put your 'hope' in God? To completely rely on Him? To embed all your trust in him? Most people don't think of it that way. He is the one that should consume all of our hope! He is the reason that it doesn't rain, or you won your game, or that jacket is still on sale. Have you ever stopped to thank him? No, because we normally don't think that way, when we really should. What about hopelessness? Have you ever lost hope? There is not one person that can say no. I know I have. I've lost hope in so many people. But if I ever thought about my hope being in God, would I have lost hope when it still went wrong? The answer, unfortunately is yes. But when I think about it now, there's a reason for Him doing what He did. No matter what it is! Albert Einstein once said " At any rate, I am convinced that He [God] does not play dice." And I cant even think of how to describe it better. We as Christians need to put our hope in Him and never lose it. Because if we do, we will most likely go to him for everything, not to other people or even the weather man....that could change the world! And more importantly the people in it.

"Where now is my hope? And who regards my hope?" Job 17:15

Costless

Only one love is perfect. No, not Romeo and Juliet's or Rose and Jack's. Not Cinderella and Prince Charming's, not Allie and Noah's. Or even a husband and wife. Its between a father and his child. I'm not talking about just any father. That would be way more than one if that was the case. I'm talking about The Father. You know the one we all claim to know and listen to, but do we really follow? The One who is always there for us even when we turn our backs to Him. The One who gave us the world, and gave us life. He even gives us each and every little breath that we take. And most of them are taken for granted. He gave his life and His son's life for us. Which was crucially taken. He doesn't even force us to love him back. All He does is simply ask. And most of us think were better off without Him. Or that we know what is best for us and we want to do it on our own. When the truth is we have no clue as to what is best for us! He is the only one who can ever know. He created us. Put every single hair on our head. And knows exactly how many drops of blood are in each body. He gave more than we can ever know while only asking one thing in return, that we love him. But only asking, never forcing. That's what makes His love so perfect. Its costless.

Live and learn

Sometimes we have to live to learn. We have to be completely broken to become fixed. We have to break down to be able to surrender. We have to lose, to gain. But in the process of doing these, we find oursleves. We become vulnerable, and that's when our true colors show.

Dreams are reality

Death. Not a word anyone appreciates, but probably one of the most well known words on the planet. You know its coming, but you never known win. Its like a creeping shadow readying itself for the attack. It all feels surreal...like a dream, but more so a nightmare. My prayers were answered, no more pain. And I know you're in a much better place. As I've been told a hundred times. But it's not the death that gets me. It's the missing you part. The part that I won't see you in person again, or you won't be there to watch me turn 16. Or get my license, or graduate high school. You wont be there to call when I get engaged or walk me down the isle on my wedding day. Or see my kids be born. Its the little things they make me hurt inside. I've had so many thoughts running in my head all day long. Things I have thought about before, but never really thought I would have to deal with so abruptly and as soon as this. It's starting to feel sickening. I try to hide it but my mask is shattering into millions of tiny pieces. Each one by a memory of you. I don't want to forget, but at the moment I don't want to remember. People say they would rather feel pain than nothing at all. I disagree. I would rather be numb, free from all emotion. And then I think of having to move all the things out of my house, and into separate houses. Because I now have nowhere I call home. No home number. I don't want to go to sleep. But I don't want to be awake. Why can't I be dreaming?

Truth from lies

I'm never alone. But sometimes... I feel like I'm invisible and mute. Like no one or anything notices I'm there, or cares. Like silence is my only friend. That my opinions shouldn't be voiced or heard. That my future is average. Nothing of tremendous importance. But That's not true. God cares. He sent His son, His only son to die on the cross. Something so much more excruciating than any murder committed today. A pain no human can even begin to comprehend. If He did that for me and you. Then my life is of great importance, and so is yours. I believe that He put us in motion from the time we were conceived. To change people lives. To glorify Him. And the devil is solely against that! He puts thoughts in our heads even when we think he is nowhere to be found. He doesn't want us to succeed. Or to give our worship to the only one deserving, God. We must know the truth from the lies.