Times

I don't remember the old me. The girl who would talk to people. The girl who knew what she wanted. The girl who was happy. In fact, I don't think she ever existed at all. I don't know where my life is heading. I'm stuck. I know what I want, but I have no idea how to get there. Whenever I actually do try and tell people what I want, they shut it down. Like it's impossible. I dream too much. I'll probably be stuck in this town forever, which is one of my many worries. All I ever do is worry anymore. I just want to leave, to get away. To be free, to be me.

Decisions

I never realized that that stupid decision would ever hurt me so badly. I didn't realize the discomfort it would bring. I feel like I've lost my best friend. The person who I could talk to about almost anything. I could talk to him easily as well. And yet I can't talk to him about this. I have a constant ache it feels like where my heart is. I don't like this feeling. But yet I'm the one who put myself in this situation. There's nothing I can do to change that, except regret it. But that's just something I'll have to live with, regret. And wonder what could have happened if I actually would have thought things through.